Good lord I’ve become so sensitive. Emotions pass like summer storms. I laugh every time I tell someone that, but the reality of it is draining.
Have I always been this way? I guess so, but maybe there were times in life when my blood sugar and my hormones and my external environment in general was more stable. I had other people to be accountable to, not just myself, and being as I’ve always been obedient – a peace keeper, a people pleaser – it worked for me and kept me rooted.
Somehow I’ve become unrooted a bit and struggle here and there as my head and my heart float up into the sky and whatever it holds. Sun, clouds, rain, wind, lightening, or worst of all snow. Depression and darkness in the quiet way. I’ve never been one to find peace in the winter – maybe it’s cause I’m a leo. (Ha – there’s a little dose of bullshit for you, and if you don’t like it I don’t care.)
So what now. So what? What now?
I am trying with all my might – which some days is a lot of might and some days is pathetic AF – to find the ground, put my feet there, and be more like a tree. This blog post is a start.